SS Love Triangle
by Kuchiki-chan
Summary: This is an IchiRuki chain story...written by YOU! Rated T for some language and weirdness.


A/N: Hello everybody! I'm really sorry for not updating in the past...lemme see...nah, it's been too long, I can't remember. Anyway, this story is somewhat special and was not written entirely by myself.

This was a chain story created by the members of the Bleach Exile Forums IchiRuki fan club. Unfortunately, the fan club was closed and reopened, I think because it had reached the limit for posts in a thread. Anyway, someone else on who is also in the IchiRuki FC may have already posted this story, but oh well. And now, finally, the interesting part.

I have HEAVILY EDITED this story, since it was originally...how do you say this...a bit messy. So I'm sorry if I've gotten rid of some of the true essence of the story. This is how it's going to work: **If you send me a PM with something to add on to the story, I'll try as best as I can to connect any PMs I receive and post them as the next chapter.** You will also receive credit for what you've written if it's posted. Come on people!! I know there are some really good writers out there...who are also avid IchiRuki fans... ;D So I hope you like this story, as strange and incredulous as it may be!!

DISCLAIMER: Characters belong to Kubo, the ideas belong to the proud members of the IchiRuki FC at BE.

Enjoy, and have fun! -kuchiki

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Rukia stomped angrily from the Kurosaki.

She couldn't believe the nerve of that boy. It's because a certain carrot head Kurosaki had ignored her warnings, and then the next think she knew she was beside Renji, talking about how idiotic Ichigo was.

"I can't believe what an idiot he is. First he goes into battle wounded, and then he ignores all my warnings," complained Rukia.

Renji just laughed and snickered. "Hey Rukia, it's about time you said something." Then Rukia noticed Renji's arm sprawled over her shoulder. "You never see me that idiotic do ya?" He smiled.

She stared blankly at his arm draped around her.

"Renji," Rukia said softly, "GET THE HELL OFF ME!" and she kicked him in the face, Rukia style.

"What are you doing, Renji?!" Rukia yelled, "You're even worse than Ichigo!" and Rukia walked away even more pissed than she was before, looking for Ichigo to complain to about Renji.

She went to find Ichigo, but was shocked to see him chatting chummily with Orihime. Her blood began to boil...she stared at Ichigo and he stared back...then she turned around and started running in a different direction...only to notice Ichigo coming after her...

"Rukia! Wait, stupid, it isn't what you think!" Ichigo yelled. Orihime watched sadly as the object of her affection abandoned her again...

Rukia didn't look at him. "Who do you think you are?! I know what I saw!"

"Why are you so stubborn!? Hell! Why do you care?!" Ichigo shouted angrily, beginning to catch up to her.

"If you and Orihime are a couple...then I'm happy for your ass and Inoue's!" she screamed...only to find Renji seeing the argument. Renji smirked. "Well well...Ichigo you're a dumbass to let go of Rukia that easily."

Ichigo turned and said, "Let her go, what do you mean?"

Renji said, "You really don't know she l..." Rukia heard what he was going to say and ran and kicked Renji.

Then on one corner, Yoruichi turned out to be videotaping the whole love triangle scene. "This is gonna be a hit in Soul Society!!!" Urahara quickly covered Yoruichi's mouth and said "Shhh...if you want that to be a smashing success, we should be a little quiet."

"WHAT THE HELL RUKIA?! WHAT WAS THAT FOR??" yelled Renji.

"For being an idiot, idiot!"

Ichigo said, "Hey, should I leave you two alone..."

Rukia stomped on Ichigo's foot. "No, you idiot." She turned to Renji. "Could you leave now? I need to talk to Ichigo..."

Renji said, in a huff, "Fine, I can see when I am not wanted..."

Rukia said under her breath, "Finally!"

"What the hell was that all about?" asked Ichigo.

"What do you mean," growled Rukia, "are you really that clueless? Idiot!"

"Yes, apparently!!" Ichigo huffed, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at her. Rukia sighed.

Rukia said, "I...I... I love you."

Just then Grimmjow appeared and took Rukia away before Ichigo could respond. Urahara said, "Yoruichi we are going to make so much money off of this..."

"Rukia!" Ichigo screamed as he had once before, at the taping of a TV show.

"Don't just stand there screaming, go Soul Reaper on his ass!" Renji said.

"Man!!! This is turning to be sooo GOOOD!" Yoruichi said smirking, obviously following the pair. "Now now…" hushed Urahara, "I wanna see the look on little Byakuya's face when he sees his little sister being chased by men."

Urahara looked up on the roof of a nearby building. He could make out a very familiar, ridiculously expensive scarf billowing in the wind. "Uh-oh. Renji and Ichigo are in trouble." "Shut up, Kisuke! How is this gonna be a hit if you keep talking!?" Yoruichi yelled.

"Oh little Byakuya's here...not a good sign," Yoruichi said handing the video camera to Urahara. "I'm gonna keep this little pinky quiet so our show won't get wasted...I'll let him go if things start to boil up," she said, leaving Urahara to have trouble with the cam.

"Yoruichi!" Urahara hissed.

"Scatter..Senb-" But Byakuya was silenced by the pouncing Yoruichi. Down in the street, Ichigo and Renji stopped. "Did you hear something?" Renji asked. "Nope," said Ichigo. "Rukia!" they yelled and resumed the chase.

"Stand aside Yoruichi!" Byakuya said. "Now now, don't get so worked up, just watch and see little Byakuya..." Byakuya glared at Yoruichi and shifted his head to where the action was taking place...

Back to Ichigo and Renji

Renji said, "Hey Ichigo, so what did Rukia tell you?"

"Well, it's hard to say..." said Ichigo.

Renji said, "What the heck just tell me."

Ichigo said, "Alright...she said that you SUCK!!!!!"

Renji felt as if the vein popping out of his forehead was going to escape his skin and strangle Ichigo all by itself.

"SHE DID NOT!" he screeched childishly.

"Did too!" Ichigo countered, sticking his tongue out for added effect.

"RENJI! ICHIGO! This is just stupid! Let's settle this in a more sane way!" Rukia retorted...only making Renji think of an idea. "YEAH! What Rukia said, Ichigo we better settle this in a fight...I challenge you to the "who knows what Rukia likes and dislikes challenge game!!!"

"That's stupid!" Ichigo shouted.

"I bet you're just saying that 'cause you know I'll win." Renji smirked, to which Ichigo's eyebrow twitched furiously.

"AM NOT!"

"Are too!"

"AM NOT!!!" Ichigo screeched.

"Then why don't you accept?" Renji retorted, pushing an open palm into Ichigo.

"Fine! You're on!" Ichigo locked his hands with Renji's and gave it a firm shake.

"Ummm...no offense, but did I mention that both of you are STUPID?"

Ichigo glared at her. "I'm not backing down now."

Rukia saw how determined he was, despite the stupid situation they were in. "Fine. Question number one...who knows what my favorite color is?"

Ichigo looked into Rukia's eyes...then looked to Renji. "It's orange," Ichigo said with pure determination in his eyes. Renji started laughing then looked to Ichigo. "You're WRONG! It's RED!" Renji said still laughing. "No IT'S ORANGE!" Ichigo repeated getting irritated. Renji came quick with a reply, "NO! It's RED! I know it for a fact!" Renji said waving his fist. 

"OH YEAH! How's that!?" Ichigo asked.

"I wikipedia'ed it!" Renji replied.

"DAMN...yes it's red." Rukia turned her gaze away from them. "Now what do I love so much that's cute and furry and white!" ...SILENCE... Both men ran to the Stuffed Toy store and came back each with a different fluff. "BEAR," Renji hissed. "Idiot, it's Chappy...WHITE DUH," Ichigo glared back.

While Urahara was still camming, suddenly Ulquiorra just appeared beside him. "Ah...you, the green arrancar, whatever do you want to buy this time?" asked Urahara. "I have no intention whatsoever of the matter, I place my own interests for this to be televised in Hueco Mundo," said Ulquiorra.

"What?" was the only response Urahara could say...while watching Ulquiorra looking at the event with only his eyes as the camera...Then a slipper came crashing onto Urahara's head. "What the hell you are doing! Get back to work...while I tie up this Kuchiki in a dead tree or something!!" Yoruichi shouted holding a Byakuya.

Meanwhile, SS Love Triangle had quickly become the most popular show in the society, with Captain Ukitake and Vice Captain Matsumoto as its biggest fans. Overall, the show seemed to be most popular with the eleventh division with 99 percent of the division watching. (Only Yumichika doesn't.)

"It is Chappy..." Rukia said simply, rage obviously growing. "AFTER ALL THE YEARS I'VE KNOWN YOU, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THAT?!" She smacked Renji upside his head. Hard.

Ichigo smirked triumphantly and handed Rukia the stuffed toy. "Next question, please."

"Have you prepared the launching of the video?" Ulquiorra asks a certain arrancar in the computer.

"Yes Ulquiorra-sama it will be done immediately.

At Soul Society... "OMG it's 7:00pm! It's SS Love Triangle!" a certain buxom blonde said brushing away all the paperwork in her table... "Gotta go taichou! Woosh!"

… "MATSUMOTO!"

Toshiro sighed and glared at her...only to notice she was watching TV. "What's that?"

"Only the coolest show in the whole soul society...SS LOVE TRIANGLE!!"

Toshiro looked suspicious. "What's it about?"

"Just watch, you'll see!"

Soon Toshiro was sitting in front of the TV, yelling. "COME ON KUROSAKI!! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!"

Ichigo scratched his head in thought. "Favorite food..." He mumbled under his breath.

Renji was watching his every move and chuckling. "Wanna forfeit?" He snickered.

" NO WAY!" Ichigo yelled, making weird hand gestures to amplify his point.

"Will ya give us a hint Rukia?" Renji looked at her, disappointed when she shook her head no. "I know this...damn…if only I paid attention during dinner," Ichigo thought. What was Yuzu making that Rukia gobbled up in one serving?

"Give up, Kurosaki. You don't know her as much as I do." Renji sneered.

Ichigo clenched his teeth. "Shut up...I know this..."

Meanwhile, back in Soul Society—

"IT'S STRAWBERRIES, KUROSAKI! STRAWBERRIES!!" yelled Toshiro, jumping up and down.

"You tell him, taichou!"

'Damn…was it cucumbers...and what's the other one? ...Damn, this chicken keeps popping out of my head…"

"Rukia! It's strawberries"! Renji announced. Rukia then gave a loud shout of "Not that! Renji! My favorite food is…"

"…CUCUMBERS AND EGGS!" Ichigo retorted. All viewers of the show stared intently at their TV screens, holding their breaths. Who was right...?

"...Chocolate fondue."

Ichigo cursed under his breath. "Damn…I really thought it was cucumber and eggs…" he thought to himself.

Kon popped up out of nowhere with a huge scoreboard.

"ALRIGHT! The true battle of 'Who knows what Rukia likes and dislikes' (of course I'd win so easy that I was disqualified from the match)!"

SCORE:  
Abarai Renji; 1 point  
Kurosaki Ichigo: 1 point

Ichigo's eyebrow twitched uncontrollably. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Don't you guys know?" Kon said.

"Know what!?"

"You guys are be..." All of a sudden Kon was swiped by a falcon.

"Stupid Kon!" everyone said.

Back in Soul Society, everyone was all tensed up…then Matsumoto said, "Good job, taichou…"

"But man, I was really sure that Rukia likes the color orange, Chappy, and cucumber 'n' eggs," said Ichigo while reviewing his answers. He felt a tap on his shoulder. "Ya just don't know her well, heheh..." said Renji.

"What? We're tied! Even you got some wrong! Rukia!!! Give us the final question and I'll answer it!" yelled Ichigo.

"Oy…Yachiru! SS Love Triangle is on the TV now, you shouldn't miss it!" Kenpachi howled, clearly munching on some food in a bento prepared by Yachiru. He would deny it but he was really a drop-dead fan of the TV show.

"YAY! Comin' Ken-chan," was the only response he could get.

Back with the love triangle... Rukia announced, "The third question is...if I was to say I love you, what would you say?"

At first both Renji and Ichigo were surprised at the question, and Ichigo said, "Isn't that question more about us?"

"WHATEVER! JUST ANSWER THE STUPID QUESTION!! I WANNA KNOW!!"

In Soul Society, Matsumoto leaned forward, eager to hear what each would say.

Meanwhile, while Yoruichi held the camera, Urahara was counting the money they'd raked in.

…And mean while in Hueco Mundo… "ICH-CHI-GO, ICH-CHI-GO, ICH-CHI-GO!!!" Ichimaru Gin and his hollow teams yelled. "You can do it Kurosaki-san! Git her!" said Ichimaru, we he realized that Aizen-sama was sitting quietly. "Aizen-sama, you are not cheering for Ichigo?" asked Ichimaru.

"I have no interest in Rukia, I am interested in Inoue only..." sneered Aizen.

"Sorry taichou...heheh," said Ichimaru.

Renji thought for a moment and then smirked.

"I'd go like this…" he whispered roughly, leaning forward into Rukia, cupping her face. As he slowly neared her lips for a kiss, Rukia's eye twitched noticeably before she whacked him over the head.

"KEEP YOUR DIRTY PAWS TO YOURSELF, BAKA!"

Ichigo stepped forward, boldly as Renji cowered in the corner crying.

"I-If you were to say you loved me I'd—"

There are cries throughout Soul Society, Hueco Mundo, and Karakura-cho (the show airs here because just about everyone can see spirits anyway) as SS Love Triangle cuts to commercial. Jinta and Ururu come on in a tux and gown advertising candy and black market soul reaper gear.

"BAH!" Toshiro screams, jumping out of his seat, trembling with anticipation. "DAMN COMMERCIALS ALWAYS CUTTING IN!"

"I thought you didn't like this show, taichou," Matsumoto pointed out slyly. The young captain's face grew to a magenta color as he sat down in a huff.

"I _don't_ like it…you're stupid…shut up," he mumbled.

Matsumoto pretended to look offended. Suddenly Jinta's face took up the whole screen. "And now...back to SS LOVE TRIANGLE!!!!!!"

Toshiro looked up eagerly. "YESSS! It's back!" Matsumoto just smirked.

On pins and needles, everyone watched. "I'd do, I'd do," Ichigo stammered.

"Yes?" Rukia asked, unknowingly leaning forward eagerly.

"Rukia, If you were to say you love me, I..."

"OMYGOSH Ichigo you mother fucker! Do iiiiiit!" screamed Toshiro.

"Taichou! What colorful vocabulary, you said people with ranks shouldn't say those," Matsumoto said eyeing the white-haired boy sheepishly.

"Shut up Matsumoto, unfortunately the "savior" of Soul Society is a wimp, but he's worth it."

"IWOULDSAYILOVE...MMMM!!!" Ichigo stammered as Renji covered his mouth.

"PIE!! He said he'd say he loved pie!" Renji screamed. Ichigo protested loudly through Renji's hand.

He smacked Renji's hand away and pushed him back in one swift motion.

"I trained with the notorious Hat and Clogs, trusted Yoruichi, fought **KENPACHI** AND your brother! The one and only Kuchiki Byakuya! JUST FOR YOU! What the hell do you think I'd say?!" Ichigo blurted out, attempting to seem annoyed and hide his blush.

Rukia, on the other hand, looked genuinely confused. "Um...I dunno..."

Renji smirked and Ichigo scowled more than usual.

Kenpachi did not look away from the show. Yachiru sat beside him. When Yumichika knocked, she turned and gave a glare." Don't bother me while Kenny watches TV." Yumichika burst into tears and ran from the assistant captain.

"I…I don't know what to say.." Rukia stuttered.

Suddenly, a girl with short ebony-haired girl appeared at Ichigo's side wearing full-blown shinigami robes. "Hey, Has anyone seen Chappy?"

"THE FUCKING HELL?" echoed throughout the whole Soul Society as Yamamoto Genryuusai stood up and threw all his papers.

"WHAAAAT!!!!!!!" Grimmjow managed to scream while eating some chips.

"What did I miss?" Rukia asked, oblivious to the matter.

"PYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNN!!"

Ichigo and Renji were suddenly shocked and asked "Who are you and why are you here?"

Rukia answered them with some smacks on there head. "IT'S ME!!! RUKIA GODAMMIT!!! WHO DO YOU THINK?! TELL ME WHAT HAS PYON DONE!!!" shouted Rukia.

"PYON??? What in the name of Davy Jones' locker is she...err..." The three shinigami looked back to see the gigai. "She's gone." ... "GET HER!!!!" The three then came running toward the trail of the mod soul. The two men clearly wanted to kill her since she made them look like shits, and Rukia just wanted her gigai back.

'Damn it had to end...I thought the Soul Society was doing a pretty good job of making Rukia hurl with those pills," Urahara sighed. "Damn you Kisuke...Byakuya is missing…" was the only response of the tanned beauty.

"By the way, what were you guys playing?" asked Rukia.

"Playing?! We were just ahhh..." said Ichigo and Renji together. "He started it!!! I told him I was busy playing the 'who knows what Rukia likes the best' game!" yelled Renji.

"The what? What are you all doing that for?" Rukia asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Er…we…"

SOUL SOCIETY...

"BECAUSE THEY BOTH FUCKING LOVE YAH AND WANT YA TO BE THEIRS!!!" Toshiro yelled, slamming the desk. "Should I implant that in your head Kuchiki?"

"Ara taichou..."

"Not a word, Matsumoto."

"Okay...anooo…"

"Not a word."

"…Hai…"

HUECO MUNDO:

"I'll koroso ano amoyaro...I should go their and smack the living daylights out of Ichigo…"

"Now now, Grimmjow, we shouldn't kill him before his time."

"Shut up Ulquiorra! Just because you're a RenRuki shipper doesn't mean you have the right to stop me!"

Ulquorria shook his head. "This is getting way out of hand."

Rukia stopped running after Chappy and turned to them coldly. Both Ichigo and Renji stopped with fear. "What were the questions?" asked Rukia.

"Uhh...we...er...no...er…was...she asked us what was Chappy so, er, we bought one for her!" They smiled at each other...happy with their triumph.

"WHY did you NOT buy me TOO?" The two sweated fast, trying to think of another question.

"SENBONZAKURA!"

"FUCK! KISUKE, BYAKUYA...LITTLE BYAKUYA...IS…"

"I know, Yoru, we will have to find him and kill him if needed."

"The Senbonzakura is going to kill Ichigo!!! We can't make it in time!" yelled Yoruichi.

Ichigo didn't close his eyes from Byakuya's attack but instead turned to look at his lovely Rukia. Then...

"Ichigo…I don't wanna say this but I expect highly of your next SS Love Triangle sequel, as I hear it this is only a show, and the purpose is purely for entertainment. I will be going." The older Kuchiki summoned the door for Soul Society and left.

"Now our problem's solved." Urahara came out laughing. "Whoosh…this hidden camera show is the hit made me a millionaire in only a week!"

"Er…Kisuke—" Yoruichi began.

"WHAT THE HECK DID YA SAY HATS AND CLOGS!!!!"

"OH...yare, yare, I was just..." But before he could finish, he was sent away to the sky as Ichigo and Rukia both elbowed him.

"YORUICHI! WHERE ARE YA!!!" raged Ichigo and Rukia. "She turned into a cat and went through that hole!" shouted Renji.

TO BE CONTINUED...BY...YOU!!!

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Well, that was the first chapter! The next chapters might not be this long necessarily...this is just how much we happened to write at BE. So please simply review, or you could help this story get written too!! -kuchiki


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